To be honest, the first things that come to mind are IMVU credits, and 'self medicating'. I don't even know.

Dunno. It's something I've told myself lately, that I almost-cry over things a lot, and I rarely remember what it was about.

I'm not saying I have PTSD - I don't [that would mean something majorly traumatic had happened previously in my life], but I have some of the symptoms:

1. Bouts of anger (that I have had from a young age) - not irrational ones; i know what triggers them. With no signs of psychosis - namely they're not paranoid ones.

2. Physical, stress-related symptoms [Might or might not want to elaborate on that one]

3. Sleep disorders

4. Difficulty in articulating  certain thoughts and using certain trigger-words with people [ and yeah, that got me in trouble/being misunderstood in the past]

5. Dissociation [even moreso when I was younger]. I don't have much to rely on to 'prove' I'm dissociative, but even my sister and a therapist had commented on my disorientation ie., not being able to find my way even when I'm supposed to know where I am and what the place looks like. BTW, my sister is a clinical therapist and I gave myself permission to look in her stuff, and in a professional report she wrote, there was a crossed out bit about disconnecting herself from what's going on around her, which made her empathise with a patient; So it's definitely in our family. My sister is seriously in denial and doesn't talk to me about family-related matters. She even said in one of my psychiatric evaluations (if that's the right word for the occasion I'm thinking of) that my dad isn't an alcoholic - even though he is and my mum can confirm it. She lied and said he drinks 'a little', when I was asked if I had mental illnesses in my family and I told them that in response.

6. Cycles of either avoiding or stimulating triggers

7. Low self-reliance and reliance on authority figures, combined with trepidation - both relating to earlier events in my life

8. Self injury in the past - I'm ashamed of it, so I've stopped doing it for a few years.
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Happy birthday, Ian Curtis. You would have been 55 today.

I thought I'd stop crying from album reviews, but no; Fan reviews, even. But it's a good kind of crying :]

Theory: http://www.guntheranderson.com/v/data/walkonth.htm - could that be why Ian and Lorraine's daughter is called Candy? I noticed it only like on my hundredth listen. :-/

I post this theory only on my blog because it sounds so obsessive XD. It's just that I've felt the need to rationalise the girls' names to myself, they seem like odd choices to me. :P

I should get the fuck off, what am I even saying.

Gave too much out to someone on Omegele. Maybe they were lying because I said I'm from Israel, but they said they were Palestinian and depressed and I feel bad about the connection falling off.

What if neither of us were lying and it had been a real conversation? The person I talked to didn't seem to have the same means for escapism that I do, whereas I could afford to live in my own imagination and be aware of real life going on every once in a while. But then again, I think everyone in northern Tel-Aviv might live in some sort of fantasy, because their lives are so convenient you wouldn't think there's inconvenience in your own country or outside.
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( Read more... )

http://www.angelfire.com/wy2/preraph/page8.html

Oh God, I am literally crying at the analysis of 'Nothing Lasts Forever':

( Read more... )

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I love this essay.

http://mirror.uncyc.org/wiki/Echo_%26_the_Bunnymen

I love this. However, that is an old page. The article had been voted off uncyclopedia, and had been deleted since.

She's Lady Gaga.